sista dagen på 2012

God morgon.
 
Jag vaknade imorse och mådde riktigt dåligt, mår illa, magen krampar och tvingar mig till toaletten och mina leder i armar och fingrar värker rejält. Jag har inga stora nyårsplaner som jag haft alla tidigare år då jag firat i stockholm, sälen, stora fester osv. Iår skulle jag med på en stillsam middag med trevligt sällskap.
Men jag vet inte om jag orkar, jag vet inte om jag vill springa på toaletten med folk jag knappt känner, stressa över att maten inte funkar för mig. Jag vet inte om det är värt det.
 
Nyår har alltid varit något stor för mig, men inte längre. Jag tycker det är jätte kul för alla andra som slår på stort men samtidigt så rör det mig inte att jag kanske får ligga hemma idag. Jag vill bara så gärna bli frisk NU bli bättre känna mig piggare.
 
Jag lever ett liv som verkligen har blivit begränsat och jag lider varje dag, gråter mig till sömns ett par kvällar i veckan. Men samtidigt så får jag acceptera det för vad det är. Jag kanske får avstå nyårfirandet i år för att bli bättre, och vad gör det? nästa år kommer ju en ny chans, och alla år efter det.
 
 
Hur ser eran dag kväll och natt ut? Ska ni fira rejält eller blir det mer stillsamt?
 
 

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